Jesse BUT NOT REALLY
Cooking but not really by Ryan Higa
Paco started recording. Then Ryan does the Cooking But Not Really intro, "Hey everyone welcome back to another episode of Cooking ...but not really. And this time, Sean's not here!" Then Ryan makes a weird face. "This is a special edition of Cooking But Not Really, and Paco's playing Sean." Paco turns the camera to face himself. "Hey guys!" Paco says to the camera. "I'm Sean ...but not really!" "That's not a good Sean impression. You've got to do the eye thing." Paco then awkwardly does the eye thing that Sean usually does. "It's so hard!" Paco complains. "This is why nobody can replace Sean." Then Ryan tells Paco his idea. "So since it's Sean's birthday I want to make him a, uh, so Sean really liked Famous Bowls since High School. So it's 3 right now and everyone's going to be here at 7 so we've got like 4 hours to make it." "So let's go then instead of talking about the plan." "Alright let's go!"
They go to the cake shop and decide which cake they should get. "I don't know which cake to get Sean." Ryan says. "I've known him for 20 years and I don't know what kind of cake he likes." "How about we get him the Burger cake that we got Derrick for his birthday?" Paco offered. "Dang a Burger cake? That's wassup." Ryan replied, imitating Derrick's words when he saw it. "Then we buy another then we'll be like 'Man another Burger cake? That's double wassup.'" They both start to laugh. "Alright let's do it!". Then Paco and Ryan starts discussing on what they should buy for the Famous Bowl cake. "So we need gravy, we need ...mashed potatoes ...and chicken nuggets. And cheese!" Paco says. "Wait do they, does KFC offer extra ...corn?" Asks Ryan. "Uhhhhhhh yeah they do offer extra sides of corn." Ryan goes to KFC and orders through Drive-Thru. "I would like to order 10 Famous Bowls, 4 gravy, 1 corn ...and 2 popcorn, chicken, nuggets?" Ryan starts to drive back to his house and goes inside his house.
"Rolling." Paco says. Ryan stands still. "Rolling." Paco repeats. Ryan stays still for 10 seconds and then says, "We're wasting time." Then he goes back to the actual cooking. "So the first thing that you need for making a cake is the cake. Tray." He takes out a very flat tray then he explains his plan. "So basically we're going to flip these upside down," He flips the Famous Bowl container upside down on the tray like he's emptying it. "Then I'll reshape it so it'll look more like a cake." Ryan starts opening the first Famous Bowl container when Paco suddenly had an idea. "Wait should we just layer the bottom with mashed potatoes first?" "You're sounding more like Sean. Usually I tell him bad ideas and he tells me if they're okay or not." Ryan replies. "Yeah cause it creates more of a foundation." "Okay." Twenty minutes later ... "Scrap that idea we're doing it normally." Ryan starts cleaning up the mashed potatoes with a spoon and Paco starts laughing. "I made a mess." Then Ryan opens a Famous Bowl container and flips it over to empty it out, then lifts up the container and sees a problem. "Uh oh." Ryan says. "It's not coming out!" Then he hits the bottom of the container and the rest comes out. He does the next one, and the hitting thing does not work this time. "What about-" Paco lifts the container and then interrupts himself when the bottom falls out of the container. "Now look at what you did!" Ryan laughed. "Fix it, hurry!" Paco tries to put the bottom of the Famous Bowl back on top. "Ah! It's hot!" "Okay then don't ...fix it." Paco does it anyways and flattens it. "That looks awful!" Ryan said. The Ryan had an idea. He decided to mix both of the Famous Bowls together then put it back. "Oh no I got it all over the handle" Said Ryan when he was pouring the mixed Famous Bowl. "You see, no Sean, no clean." "So I guess it's a lot, to HANDLE, right?!" Paco was expecting Ryan to laugh. "I miss Sean." Then he tries to make the face that Paco make before. Then Ryan sprinkled the cheese on top of the Famous Bowls. "I know this looks disgusting but I really want to eat it." "Wait shouldn't you just, like, put all of it into a deeper tray instead?" "Yeah I should probably do that." Then he starts scooping up the Famous Bowls with his hands and put it in the other tray. "Why are you using your hands?" "What do you mean?" "Why don't you use like a utensil or something?" Ryan starts thinking about it. "NO." Paco starts laughing. "This is more FUN." When Ryan was done scooping, it looked like a real cake.
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